Sleep less

I couldn't sleep... so I think i will just change my plan.. instead of waking up @ 4am to study.. i will start studying now.

Below was the entry i were to post yesterday... once again.. I was thinking too much...

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I was quite stoned and clumsy yesterday... cuz i was kinda exhausted ... physically...
I was late to class in the morning...kinda fishing during the class...
I came home and studied a bit (another MT on Wednesday)...
I took a nap for about an hour...
I worked on the homework for "back-wave"...
I went out for dinner and then went to "back-wave" ...
I came home..did some stuff... didn't sleep until 2 am... I knew I wouldn't sleep well just because it's already past 1 am...
It rained.. I left the window open... the wind was strong and loud... it was a cold night...Indeed, I didn't sleep well...

During the day, some strange thoughts went through my mind again...
like ....
What if one day I lost all of my memories... haha...what would happen then?
What if one day I disappeared from this place ...

... I used to be fond of thinking about that... but not any more...
I am now feared of losing any memory I have.
I am feared of losing anyone, esp those who are very important to me.

So I was really grateful Vivian and Auntie were both all right from the car accidents.. ...

It's true that "This world is often a dangerous place"... someone could suddenly show up and gun shoot innocent people for no reason...... Seems it could happen anytime, anywhere and anyone could potentially become the victim. Things sometimes just don't make sense any more...

What about the accidents that happen everyday that take away people's lives?
What about natural disasters that happen every time that take away hundreds of thousands of lives?

...How much are in my/our own control?
...but even if I had only one breath ...

I love my life. It's a good life.
The things I do and the people I meet..
Every breath I/we take is from Him.
so I hope and pray that every move I/we make is directed by Him too.

"God, I know this world is often a dangerous place. Please help my friend and me. Your trustworthiness has no limits. I know [we're] secure when we trust in You. Please help [us] know what to do. Amen."
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It's another cold night. once again, I am thinking too much... I start to doubt myself... maybe some of what I am doing has been a big disappointment... maybe I am just a hypocrite. and I am really deeply sorry.
...

When I am to deal with all my problems.. life still needs to continue on as it would...
Okay, wish me good luck on my exam!