... Touch

I didn't go to church on Sunday.. missed church two weeks in a row... will miss it again this coming week as I will probably be traveling. when you miss church a few times, you'll become really miss it.
miss Sunday school, miss the candy; miss brothers and sisters, miss saying "jo sun" to them; miss Singspiration, miss the sound of worship.. miss uncle Joseph's sexy voice and gestures. miss meditation and praying together or alone silently...... I miss church.

I did go to church on Saturday for my cousin's wedding ceremony. It was a Catholic church in Tsim Dong. My cousin is a non-believer and his wife is Catholic, so are her family. The ceremony was quite different from the one(s) i have been to in Vancouver.. actually i have only been to one so far? haha.. and that's Vaillant and Jessie's wedding. The ceremony was different in some little details.. like the way to pray (i didn't even realize we were praying.. when we prayed for the first few times..., the hymnal devotion..(they used electric piano and the choirs were standing on the side of the hall singing with a quite different style of singing. drag a lot.. maybe that's to match the sound of the electric piano..or just the personal singing style? )...

During the hymn devotion... we sang one of the hymns that goes like this "Ha-le-lu-jah, Ha-le-lu--jah, Ha-le-lu-jah, Ha-le-lu Ha-le-lu-jah.." .. I didn't sing with my voice but i hummed along in my heart.. thinking of God, of His greatness, thinking of His blessings for this new couple.. Ha- le - lu - jah.. I was touched and I could feel my eyes getting moist... It is a very familiar piece but i can't recall its name now.

I can hum it..

Here, it's another hymn.. I want to share with you.. it's unrelated to the wedding.. but I thought of it the morning after the wedding.. I heard of this song when I went to Kit's fellowship's praise and worship event (猜.情.尋)... Erico was there too.. I wondered why they chose this one as the theme song of the night.. but as the night approached the end..when we sang this hymn once again...

尋著你的那天



The beginning was gloomy, grey and lost ...

But...

直到一天我在塵世尋著祢，
徬徨空虛悄然消失遠飛；
與祢偶遇原是我畢生的福氣，
如黑夜盡頭重現晨曦…
在那一天我在塵世尋著祢，
從前孤單我從此不記起；
祢賜盼望、承諾這愛永沒盡期，
灰色人生變成絕美！
到世界盡頭唯願我始終毋忘記：
驚喜人生乃來自祢！

I have found the greatest love i can ever have...this Love is so captivating and liberating... it unleashes the part of me that's so locked up...and ...iced
I was love disable... until today.. still some of me is so cold...because that has been frozen for long long time...it takes time to melt.. God has already melt a lot of them.. I know He is working on it.. He is working at me..
I am learning to love truly to love with wholeheartedly...

Show me how to love like You have loved me

Coming back home... seeing my family... I have the mix feelings.. I am happy because I can spend time with them ...at the same time... i have been thinking a lot.. how can they love me so much... have I loved them as much as they have loved me? Love should not make a person feel guilty? but I feel guilty because I haven't loved them as much and i still haven't been able to ... How come I feel such pressure from their love? ... What's wrong with me?
What's wrong with me?

... ...I can only pray...
God

Show me how to love like You have loved me

You are already looking for them...
Let them know You... Let them also find You..
Let me.. show them how great You are and how great Your love is.

在塵世尋著祢
是畢生的福氣 ...