Culture ... Shock?

5 years ago.. when i first came here.. I became such a quiet person.. partly due to the English language I wasn't familiar with... Everything looked so strange to me.. I felt so out of place. My Homestay Mom told me it's normal to have culture shock...

What's culture shock then? I think i experience that very often.. When I came to UBC, when I joined CCF, when I started going to church, when I started work at Blast Radius... Even when I take a new course.. (e.g. DJ course, Phil class) I usually feel shocked (and a bit shot ha). So I think when I don't feel like myself anymore and become a different person under the influence of a changed environment and culture..I experience the culture shock. Every time when I am exposed to a new, foreign, environment and culture, it takes me quite some time to get comfortable with it.

I don't know.. is it possible to become uncomfortable again after being comfortable?

yea... so it's like an after shock? Once again, I feel out of place and that's because I have become so familiar with the culture and environment? or the culture and environment is going through some changes that I am not yet prepared for... I lived in Shenzhen for almost 18 years.. It's a place where I was born and grown up. I was so familiar with the culture and environment there.. I don't think I am a person that fits in that culture tho.. Can one survive a culture without fitting in? Maybe not?... Outsider? Stand out? Rebellion? Counter Culture? ... Historically and even in the present time, people seem to be prosecuted because they didn't fit in the culture and society. So they didn't survive. But if survival is what they merely wanted/aimed for, i would say it wouldn't be hard for them to survive. However, surviving a life is not, is not living a life. They didn't want to just survive. They chose to live! Everyone is given a choice whether to survive or to live. Or course, everyone wants to live a life and not just survive!, if you ask them. But why? why some of them is now merely surviving a life? What makes the difference? I think... if I know and believe what I believe is the truth; If i am living out and embracing what i believe, I am living a life.

Do we not have a choice? It's not easy, and it won't get any easier to make the choice. But I know I will be so disappointed at and even despise myself if one day i realized that i was merely surviving a life.

Culture shock? After shock? ... I try not to lose myself and what I believe. You too, whatever shock that is going to occur, be certain of who you are and hold tight to your belief.