Visit...

Maybe .. I am the lucky one .. who got to rest a bit before the weekend ended.    I started feeling sleepy during the workshop at church... what i did after that was like day dreaming..  so I went to bed right after dinner tonight at around 7:30.  I just wanted to rest a bit.. only to find myself waking up at around 10:30..with a dizzy, heavy head..  and now.. I am still up...

so.. I went to Koinonia for a visit today.  I think.. the idea of visiting a church and finding out why its growth is crazy and maybe a bit ridiculous as well.. First of all, how can you find out about it simply by a visit? Second, I felt like a betrayer or an intruder/spy somehow..by not attending my own church and visiting others' (my friends') church with a purpose other than genuinely seeking God. This certainly didn't make me feel good at all.  and... I really don't hope to upset anybody.. I might have..  I am sorry..   Despite all, I still did it and it's one of the most "courageous" things I have done lately.

.. Now.. I can share a bit of my "adventure" with you.. 

Although I decided to pay a visit.. I went through the moments .. where I had my second thoughts.  At 9 o'clock this morning.. I thought to myself.. if I changed my mind now.. I could still go to to Sunday school.. it's the last day of the creation topic...  At 10 o'clock, I thought to myself.. I hadn't spent time with Uncle and Aunt lately.. maybe I should go to Yum Cha with them today....   finally, at 10:30...  I got myself ready and just went for it.  When I arrived, I started to get nervous..   At the front entrance, three people, wearing sharp green Shirts, standing there.. welcoming people.  Once I walked into the foyer?  I saw Joshua.. and another two ladies there... welcoming ..and showing direction to the hall and giving out info cards for the coming sermon series. They all wore green shirts as well..  Then, I saw Mandy and Edward in the hallway... I was guided to the hall.. and was introduced to a brother.. there.. siting by himself.  I took the seat next to him.  I felt less nervous after sitting down.. and the girls sitting in the row before me... turned around to to say hi and introduced themselves to me..  .Then, i found out.. the color green is the church's color .. The people who are serving (in the hospitality team of the day, worship team, pastors) are wearing green.  .. DK noticed me from the back.. and came to say hi. He's working in the tech team.  Maggie .. who invited me to visit was helping out in the kids' worship..  .. More people came in and sat down.. the ones sitting next to me .. close to me.. introduced themselves to me.. I guess I can still remember the names of a few.. and the faces of one or two? haha..   I was sitting among the people I don't know..  so close tho.. a bit felt like back to UBC.. haha.

....Worship started .. Andrew and another lady were playing keyboards.. going along with a worship leader.  Then, Wilbur gave the sermon whose topic is "安然選擇". ...

I totally had no clue what to do when the service seemed to have ended.. I was "unprepared" (mentally unprepared?)    Should I leave right away? Should I stay for awhile.. and get to know someone?  I think... I should stay for awhile at least to find my friends.. the ones I know of..  since most the crowds went out from the other way (different from where I came in)..  thought I wasn't sure whether what's there.. and what's really happening.. I just followed them. ... so actually. there were refreshments.. outside in the hallway.. people just hung out there after the worship.   And.. I started to get even more anxious... cuz I didn't see anybody I knew...   after awhile..  I saw Mandy pass by.... I was a bit relieved and tried to have a conversation with her.. but.. she's having something to do.. ....  so .. standing in the crowds for another while.. trying to find someone I know..   I really felt like leaving..  until a girl approached me and invited me to taste the refreshments..  she also talked a bit with me...  then, another person came forward to say hi..  .. someone who's been to CCF before and has seen me before..  .. then, I saw Willson...a person had something to do with him .. then,... DK came talk a bit .. and had to leave to do his stuff..  .. then Wayne.. then Maggie..  haha.. I did see quite a few friends.. and people i knew .. I guess.. but .. all for just a brief moment..  This is one of the occasions where I might say "please don't leave me alone."

...

What have i learned from my "experience"? ...
Every church has their own culture. It's not about which is better but which is most suitable to their members?
Professionalism does give a good first impression... That's not all or the only thing. There's always something else as well.? 
It's not easy to be a stranger to be surrounded by a group of strangers.  even thinking of it is not too pleasant..   ... It's good I could be a "stranger" today so that I know how a stranger or an unfamiliar someone might feel like.... This is a "new" perspectives I (re)gained today after being a "church-goer" for such a long while.  Shouldn't I already know it? maybe ... but never so physical, mentally, and emotionally do.

wah... it's almost 3 am.. It's almost time for breakfast! 
haha..