Who Am I?

I almost choked myself to death.. by a shrimp skin...
It's so easy... I could have died.. from that...
Life is precious.. and can be so fragile.... I am afraid of dying at that very moment.. and I realize I am afraid of many things..


I am afraid of disappointment..
I am afraid of disagreements...
I am afraid of nonacceptance...
I am afraid of being too distant...
I am afraid of being too close...
I am afraid of making mistakes....
I am afraid of doing things wrong...
I am afraid of offending others....
I am afraid of conflicts....
I am afraid of hurting people..
I am afraid of seeing people getting hurt...
I am afraid of ignorance...
I am afraid of knowing too much...
I am afraid of pride...
I am afraid of being dumb...
I am afraid of being self-conceited...
I am afraid of being lost...
I am afraid of burdens...
I am afraid of being a burden...
I am afraid of being relied on...
I am afraid of being free of reliance...
I am afraid of being selfish...
I am afraid of responsibilities..
I am afraid of commitments ....
I am afraid of being dependent...
I am afraid of being independent....
I am afraid of uncertainties...
I am afraid of changes...
I am afraid of challenges...
I am afraid of failures...
I am afraid of status quo...
I am afraid of stagnation....
I am afraid of complacency..
I am afraid of losing what I have....
I am afraid of losing my passion...
I am afraid of losing my heart...
I am afraid of being unwanted...
I am afraid of being wanted...
I am afraid to love...
I am afraid of being loved...
I am afraid of people...
I am afraid of losing touch..
I am afraid of knowing about myself...
I am afraid of ....
....

I am afraid that I have become a coward in life and in Faith...
Thoughts are contradictory...complicated....
I am afraid that I don't even know who I am now...
Am I still Roson? ... then Who is Roson..?

I want something simple...straight...and straightforward...